Are we on the same team? dealing with unresolved disagreements.

Recently I was talking with a group of ministry leaders about their work in a variety of locations. This group included many experienced people yet each of them had a few areas of concern in there work. Each member of the group had at least one or two areas of ministry that were troubling them. Even though they had some conflict or concern, no one was paralysed by this. This got me thinking, how do you deal with conflict in a ministry setting?

As a Parish Intern or Leader you may encounter disagreements about ministry. There may be a disagreement between Interns or between ministries or even within a ministry. There are a couple of things to remember when handling conflict in a ministry setting:

1. We are on the same team: A very wise piece of advice that I heard from a work colleague was to remember we are on the same team. When we minister in the Church we are on the same team. Each team needs to work together rather than fight within the team. As a group of Interns remind each other that you are on the same team, there shouldn’t unresolved disagreements between Interns.
2. Work on a common understanding: Sometimes people get into a disagreement about one area of ministry yet they are really arguing over two different things. To develop a common understanding you need to make sure you are talking about the same thing. For example an argument may arise over starting small groups in your parish, but one person imagines bible study, another other imagines prayer groups and another person imagines personal accountability groups. Find the common thread by explaining the terms you are using, in this case what is a “small group”?
3. Focus on the Vision – sometime we get lost in the small details about our ministry and forget the bigger vision. There are many ways to achieve the big vision so find a way that works for the common good. Any task that you undertake should you’re your ministry achieve the vision. When a task fails to achieve the vision you may need to stop doing the task, even though some people may like performing that task. For example, Pizza nights might attract young people to a starting youth ministry but you might cancel the Pizza part once the ministry is launched. If the focus is on the pizza and not the goal of starting a youth ministry then people get distracted.
4. Who are you following – please remind yourself of this topic in the previous post. Ultimately if there is an unresolved disagreement over ministry in your parish, the parish leadership should have the final say.

We all get disappointed at times in our ministry because our vision is bigger than what we see in front of us. If you are to continue to develop as a Parish Intern or Leader, you need to ride through these disappointments. If we are to be effective leaders in the Church then we have to inspire people with hope, hope that comes from our daily surrender to God. As Andy Stanley wrote “The end of a God ordained vision is God”

Please leave a comment about how you have overcome conflict in your ministry.